A day late, a dollar short & happy as a clam about it

{This is for the phenomenal people in my life who’ve stuck with me through all my crap. I admit there’s been a lot of it, and you deserve a tremendous amount of gratitude from me. This post is a tiny little shaving off the edge of that gratitude.  I hope you know it’s there… because it is, and it’s huge.  It’s the thing that wakes me up every morning and makes me smile even when I’m scared out of my mind.  I don’t so much believe in guardian angels, but I do believe in the tremendous goodness of the people I’m lucky enough to call my friends. And this one’s for you.}

So, it’s official.  I’m “a Writer with a capital W,” as I’ve taken to saying.  The little blue business cards are stacked up on the counter, the columns and clients are starting to emerge, the portfolio’s being plucked at on a daily basis, and I’m having mild anxiety attacks every night as I fall asleep. It’s all egregiously overdue, but better late than never, right?

Isn’t it funny how we let dreams incubate for the absolute longest time but rarely ever do anything about them?  You guys have seen me sit perfectly still for long periods of time, turning things over in my brain and ultimately deciding to put them off until later.  For the entirety of my career, I’ve stood just close enough to the calling I realized when I was five years old and first picked up a pencil, but I never really had the guts to step squarely into the center of it.  That was always too frightening, so I’d perch myself just close enough to draw some energy from its heat and use it to help other people build their brands, get their words straight and “make it happen.”  I’ve been doing PR and marketing and communication and outreach and messaging and brand architecture and all kinds of other fancy terms that really mean little more than “writing on behalf of someone,” and I’ve been doing it for more than a decade.  These days, though, although I’ll still be doing a bit of that stuff to pay the bills (girl’s gotta eat), I’m squeezing my eyes shut tight, gritting my teeth and writing on behalf of myself.  And let me tell you something: it’s scary as hell.

I’m not quite sure what shape this blog will take.  In a way, I’m hesitant to do anything with it at all, and I have a million excuses: I’ve got deadlines to meet.  Rent to pay.  Books to finish.  Clients to reel in and impress.  Too much to do and too little time to do it.  Sadly, for a person whose job it is to come up with original ideas, my excuses couldn’t be more plagiarized.  Each and every one of them jumped the shark for all of us about a year after college, didn’t they?  Everybody has stuff to wrangle.  Everybody has stress.  I think it’s time for me to stop hiding behind all of that nonsense — because that’s what it is: pure nonsense — and just do what I was put here to do.  So every Friday, with all due respect to the other projects I have on my plate, I pledge to sit down, clear away the clutter and write something substantive that has nothing to do with anything except whatever’s in my head.  I hope it won’t be trite.  I hope you guys will stop by from time to time and enjoy whatever it is that I’m babbling about.  And if you ever feel like reaching out and giving me a swift kick in the ass, well hey.  You’re good at that, so c’mon and let me have it.

You guys are in this with me.  The things you say, the troubles you face, the insights you have… they’re all stories worth telling, and whether you realize it or not, you’re all threaded rather tightly into the words I write, even when they seem completely unrelated to you.   Those of you who’ve known me for a long time are well aware that this day has been a long time coming, and you’re probably thinking, “Thank GOD, child.  Let’s get on with it already.”  To you guys, I want to say thank you.  Thank you for listening to me whine.  Thank you for watching me cry, punching me in the arm and telling me it’s going to be okay.  Because these days, it IS okay.  And I’m more grateful for that than I could ever express with any degree of accuracy, even after a zillion revisions.

All right, 2012.  BRING it.  I’ve got the coffee pot on, the laptop charged, and a fire in my brain that’s about to escape right here on this page, and several others too.  Cheers to you guys for riding shotgun with me.  I’m honored to have you here, and I’ll sure as hell try to keep it interesting.

All my heart,

a.

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8 thoughts on “A day late, a dollar short & happy as a clam about it

  1. Emily says:

    What a great way to start the new year! I loved the post and can’t wait to follow the blog all year long. So proud of you!

  2. Claire says:

    Yay! I look forward to being here every Friday to read!
    You’re so awesome, and I feel super lucky to know you!
    -Claire Rodriguez

  3. You guys are awesome… which is exactly the reason I chose to make you the subject of my very first post. I’m a lucky girl for having you all in my life… thank you for sticking with me and gifting me with your support. It means more than you know. :) love, a.

  4. Jeff White says:

    Great post Amy, remember that nothing great comes without risk! I’m looking forward to the next post!

  5. Jose Barreiros says:

    Good read, go to it! I would like to give you a thought: Guardian angels might just take all shapes, and maybe -just maybe- that’s the role your friends play for you. That’s just my personal belief.

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